by Sam Pierce
I wonder if the organizers of any of the countless "Gay Pride" (or "Acknowledge Me for My Sexual Preference While I Shake it in Your Face... but Don't You Dare Judge Me") events ever consider what their lives would be like without the antiquated, oh so trite concept of sexual reproduction. The very idea that a man and a woman would enter into a life-long partnership, conceive and rear children can probably be filed under "H" for "homophobia". Same sex couples are above all that. They are trendy and enlightened. They realize that natural sexual reproduction is no longer a necessity and in fact the act of human reproducing is not an environmentally friendly one. Perhaps they should be having "Green Gay Pride Parades". At the very least, green should be the prominently featured color on the symbolic rainbow.
Oh I know that the prideful homosexuals who seek all this attention realize that there may be some utilitarian purpose for heterosexuals to exist and reproduce. Hell, most of them were probably born to such icky neanderthals. Still, this unpleasant utility is no source of "Pride"! We know this because there is a whole month dedicated to the sexual activity truly worthy of "Pride". There are parades and festivals where people who are proud of their sexual preference march and demand to be the center of attention... for fairness, you know.
There is quite a bit of "Pride" news so let us reflect on those stories that demonstrate true "Pride". I also suggest that we animals who are basically the American Taliban (isn't that right dear lib troll?) because of our grotesque engagement in marriage between one man and one woman, not to mention our bizarre sexual activities (those that can result in human reproduction) take this opportunity to repent.
NAMBLA would be so proud of the good folks who organize the Fayetteville, Arkansas "Gay Pride Parade". They were willing to look past the fact that their grand marshal was the product of sexual reproduction, even though it happened so recently:
10-Year-Old Named Grand Marshal of Gay Pride Parade
When the Fayetteville, Ark., Gay Pride Parade steps off on East Street Saturday on its way to the Wal-Mart parking lot, it will be led by a young man who has made a career out of fighting for gay rights.
Make that a young boy. Will Phillips, the grand marshal, is 10 years old, and his presence has thrust Fayetteville's Gay Pride Parade into the national spotlight.
The key is to start them young. Get to them while you have maximum opportunity to make an impression. I would assume this is the philosophy of President Obama's Fisting Czar Kevin Jennings.
Chicago's "Pride" festivities will feature a diverse group of participants, including:
- SEIU
- Dykes on Bikes
- Governor Quinn
- Alexi Giannoulias (Your missing the float Mark Kirk)
- Deb Mell (Say hello to your bro-in-law for us in Illinois, will you?)
- Log Cabin Republicans
- Nuns for Fun
- Planned Parenthood (Hey dummies, there aren't likely to be a whole lot of homosexuals seeking your for profit baby killing service.
- Ernie Banks
- The Stanley Cup
If Chicago's professional sports teams will be represented, I don't think Ernie Banks and the Blackhawks' Brent Sopel should be the only participants. I think in the spirit of having one's backfield in motion, the Chicago Bears should send a tight end and a wide receiver. After all, as Rick Chandler wrote in the "Out of Bounds" piece about the Stanley Cup's participation in the "Pride":
This really is a remarkable gesture by both the Blackhawks and the Cubs; both organizations deserve tons of praise. This is what pro sports should be about; diversity, inclusion and bringing communities together.
Who says pro athletes aren't role models for our children? If more big name athletes get involved in peddling "Gay Pride" more 10 year old might be inspired to become "Gay Pride" grand marshals. This is critical because some young people think it is alright or even cool to be straight. The little ungrateful punks need to know that they should be ashamed of being straight or as Triangle Foundation's executive director Alicia Skillman said in response to students participating in "Straight Pride" events:
“A ‘Straight Pride’ event smacks of heterocentrism. This society is built to support one man, one woman relationships. ‘Straight Pride’ is a coward’s way of showing off a straight privilege. A ‘Straight Pride’ celebration is a slap in the face to all other forms of relationship recognition,”
We should be thankful for organizations such as the Triangle Foundation, which can call kids cowards and enjoy the protective blanket of political correctness.
"Come out" and show your "Pride"... that is unless you are one of the nasty breeders, in which case you should stay home and perhaps rethink your sexuality. You do want to someday be proud, do you not?
Cross-posted without "Pride" from "The Immoderate Blog"
