Gather round children and I'll tell you a fantastic adventure story . . .
There once was a woman named Judy (Topinka, not Garland) who found herself over the gay rainbow in a strange land of Republican gubernatorial candidates.
With matching red hair and shoes, she set off to win the Wizard's mansion in Springfield.
On her way, she came upon a scarecrow named Jim. He was a nice chap, but kept falling down on his campaign trails and often said and did stupid things - because he didn't have a brain.
Though the two despised each other, they soon set off together for the Wizard's mansion and came upon a tin man named Ron. Because of his great wealth, the tin man was rusty in how to act like a middle-class person. And like most slum lords he lacked a heart.
The bickering trio now set off together on their common quest for the Wizard's mansion. And it wasn't long before they came upon a lion named Bill. The lion had a beautiful mane of golden hair, but found it impossible to take a stand on any issue because he lacked the courage of his convictions.
The four characters each disliked each other intensely. However, they shared one commonality: they found the little dog named Andy most annoying; for he kept making noise and nipping at their heels as they made their way to the Wizard's mansion upon the yellow brick road.
Stay tuned boys and girls. We'll tell you the end of the story on March 21.
