Relax. Just because I'm a housewife doesn't mean I'm going to offer you my recipe suggestions. Although, now that I'm thinking of it…no, no. Sorry. Today, we instead talk of blacklists and the consequences surrounding the delegation of the Right's cultural participation inside the ongoing national dialog by bowing to the artistic geniuses who consider themselves left of center. You know – the great thinkers who gave us Lady Gaga, Two and a Half Men, and The Underwear Dare.
Oh, sure. You've got your occasional Bruce Willis or Dennis Miller or Patricia Heaton who break out of their shackles in unstoppable glory to delight audiences everywhere with their artistic acumen, but how often does that really happen? Mostly, we see the Elizabeth Hasselbecks of the world who act as diplomatic envoys into a cultural universe that is simply too cool for traditional values. Ah, yes. Elizabeth - blissfully incapable of holding her own in a room of bullying Leftists, always demurring in timid acceptance of her role as stupid Republican, never quite capable of making a valuable point in defense of conservative ideology…it couldn't be a better set up for the Left's Punch and Judy show if they had scripted it…which they did.
That is why it's been such a nearly universal decision on the part of Right thinking people to hand over music, film, general entertainment, education, literature…all to the Left. It's through these coordinated efforts to portray the Right as culturally and intellectually unskilled that we have convinced ourselves that they are somehow more capable of such endeavors than we are. So instead of taking the beating that we apparently have coming to us, let's all just leave it to the experts. Let them sing. Let them write. Let them act. Let them teach our children. They know what they are doing. They are the creative ones. We know nothing.
Trust me. They do know something. With conservatives out of the way, the Left has been free to generate artistic silos which thrill in the exclusion of the art, music, literature and history that comes from the wrong kind of person…again, we may reference 30 Rock, Katy Perry and Glee as the appropriate vision of what entertainment should be as it gets produced from the correct kind of practical intellect.
Thank goodness we have Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin to pull all those Midwestern country bumpkins into the twenty-first century.
And Heaven help those who are outed as conservatives in this always open-minded, free-thinking world of entertainment. Doesn't take much to marginalize those careers. Tom Selleck, Angie Harmon, Charlton Heston, Jon Voight, Kelsey Grammer…all of whom were the toast of Tinsel Town until their political leanings were made public. All of whom made layered and interesting contributions to the world of entertainment. All of whom have been ostracized as unimaginative or unintelligent or bigoted or bland since they were revealed to be conservatives or libertarians. Hollywood doesn't need those kinds of people hanging around when there are so many other more appropriate artists out there who can think what they are told to think and are willing to do whatever is required of them by the cultural elites.
And that brings me to one Michael Lee Aday - better known to the world as Meat Loaf. Ah, yes. Now you see where I'm going with this. I meant that Meat Loaf. And guess what. He was outed as a Republican or at very least, he was seen as critical of our great president…that was his great sin against mankind and for that he must be marginalized. Adam K. Raymond of Esquire Magazine (that stolid purveyor of the avant-garde) now describes Meat Loaf as…hold on. Let me get my quote straight:
"Like the brick of ketchup-covered beef from which he takes his name, Meat Loaf is often regarded as dependable, if not especially challenging, American fare."
Dependable. Not especially challenging. Understand? As opposed to Bruce Springsteen's latest review by Esquire:
On the surface, "Wrecking Ball" is the story of Giants Stadium's 2010 demolition, narrated by the stadium itself. Your temptation to mime playing the world's saddest song on the world's smallest violin wouldn't necessarily be misplaced. But as the centerpiece — figuratively and literally — of an album about what Bruce calls the "distance between American reality and the American Dream," Giants Stadium makes for a pretty meaningful metaphor.
Got that? Springsteen's Wrecking Ball which happens to be as pedantic and dreary as we have all come to expect from this blue collared, millionaire whiner is a meaningful metaphor, but Meat Loaf is unchallenging.
Seriously. The demolition of Giants Stadium as told by Giants Stadium. Gag me.
Am I wrong? Am I remembering a different Meat Loaf? Because the guy that I'm thinking of has got a set of pipes that could blow the roof off of a house. He created some of the most complex and lyrical musical arrangements of the 1970s and 1980s. He was in Rocky Horror which is still considered one of the most cutting-edge musicals of all time. When I think of that guy? Dependable, milquetoast dinner fare is not exactly what pops into my mind first. And let that be a lesson to you, Mr. Loaf…*grin*. You've got to talk the liberal talk and walk the liberal walk if you want to be rewarded for mediocrity…which is kind of what his newest release, Hell in a Handbasket is. Sorry to be honest here.
I know. I'm supposed to stand up and shout "hooray" for an album which is frankly a little too rusty just because he's Republican-ish…like this is a spectator sport and I'm supposed to root for the home team, but that's just doing what the Left does and that doesn't push forward our culture any more than touting Wrecking Ball as great artistry simply because it comes from the right kind of Democrat does…again, the demolition of Giants Stadium as told by Giants Stadium. Guys, come on.
Anyway - realistically, Hell in a Handbasket has got some good moments. I like Meat Loaf's soulful California Dreaming cover. Blue Sky is by far the best song in the collection and he should have expanded on that theme a little bit more, but as a whole, this was not Meat Loaf's best effort. It's long winded and it lacks fire. Passion. Heat. Excitement.
That doesn't for a second negate his contributions to the music industry and it doesn't wipe away decades of great music as much as Esquire Magazine seems to want to think it does. His lackluster performance on Handbasket doesn't make his music as a whole unchallenging. If anything, it proves that Meat Loaf stood on the sidelines and watched the other more "politically acceptable" artists producing brain-candy for too long. He allowed his talent to grow stale. He is a living metaphor for those conservatives and libertarians who have an immense amount of raw talent and who have more to offer this nation than iterations on the Left's cultural mildew.
Keep this in mind. Culture is the sum total of all learned behaviors patterns. It is characteristic of all members of the society and that includes Republicans. It should not be stifled and censored by the self-appointed culture czars on the Left, and the Right should not acquiesce to the sloppy seconds of the Left's low expectations. It is time for the Right to revolt against Hollywood's blacklisting bigotry and to demand equal time for the people who best represent our own value systems. We must reject the MSMs social dictates and challenge the artistic retread that has become our popular culture. We must be willing to turn off the television and boycott the cinema in protest of the slop that is continuously fed to us. Trust me. They need our money more than we need their Thursday night lineup.
And just a sidebar – This has nothing to do with what I've just written, but that has never stopped me before. It might be wise to remember that if more people stayed at home and ate those bricks of ketchup-covered beef that Esquire Magazine derides as unchallenging, we would probably have our national obesity problem whipped in the time that it takes Meat Loaf to produce his next album. Just saying. I for one anticipate both monumental events with great enthusiasm.