Liberal Linguists Society

by David Hendrickson

Hi there! Since you're reading this, you must be interested in joining the Liberal Linguists Society. We are a progressive group of people who study and use the language of Liberals in everyday life. Over the next few weeks, we will show you just a few words that are a must when speaking the Liberal Language.

1. ADOLF HITLER (ey-dolf hitt-lerr)- Forget what you learned in school about the German leader who killed millions of Jews, Christians, homosexuals, mentally-handicapped, and minorities for the sake of purifying the human race. He was not Adolf Hitler. He was an Adolf Hitler wannabe. The real Adolf Hitler, when using the name in the Liberal Language, is the American President George W. Bush, who also killed millions of Jews, Christians, homosexuals, mentally-handicapped, and minorities for the sake of purifying the human race. Just kidding. He just disagrees with our views.

2. FREEDOM (soh-shuh-liz-uhm)- To a select few uneducated blue collar workers, it means "the ability to think, say, and pursue dreams to your heart's content". But to the Academic and Political Elite (and the Liberal Linguists Society), it is defined as the following:

"Freedom (As taken from the Progressive and People for Change Dictionary, 2008 edition): A fickle, naive, and sickening idea that gives people the right to choose the clothes they wear, the church they attend, the words they say, and the job they want."

3. RACIST (kuhn-sur-vuh-tiv)- A person who doesn't vote for Barack Obama(The Messiah).

4. CHRISTIANS (ter-er-ists)- A horrible group of people who follow the teachings of Jesus. They have the audacity to practice unconditional love and true tolerance, and are worse than Islamic Extremists who fly planes into buildings and blow themselves up on buses.

Well, that is your lesson for this week. Please join us next Sunday for the continuing lessons on how to become an expert in the Liberal Language.

And have a Happy Monday!

Comments

[spintreebob]

Change - More money for the samo samo.

[Fran]

Points well made, David. How do we change these perceptions?

[The Interface]

Well put. He who controls the language controls the debate...and whether or not there even is a debate.

[Tom]

What perceptions, Fran? You small minded dimwit...this stupid satire isn't really a testament of how Democrats see Republicans but, rather the other way around as socialist, christian hating individuals. Instead of sitting there and applauding, you would wake up from your nightmare, which must be your rather inept ability to perceive reality in everyday life, and figure out what Democrats a really like.

[Conservateen]

That's funny Tom, because I never ever read the words Democrat or Republican. I believe the author left it open for interpretation when he mentioned liberals, as there are liberals on both sides.

The last time I checked, it was liberals who supported more government, a socialistic ideology. And the last time I checked, it was conservatives who believe in free market and Trickle Down principles.

And don't bother responding to this, because I already know you're going to start name calling like a 6 year old, and say things like "Bush is a neo-con" and other ridiculous statements that you got from listening to NPR.

Tell you what, when you start commenting worthwhile contributions to this blog, then people might actually care what you have to say.

CONSERVATEEN STRIKES AGAIN!!!
WOOOOOSSSSHHHH (FLIES AWAY)