"What if?"

by George Dienhart

Once there was a television program called Futurama. I won’t bore you with the details, but suffice it to say, that it was science fiction as envisioned by the creator of the Simpsons. Two episodes centered around one of the characters inventing a “what if” machine. Characters would pose a “what if” type of question, and the machine would show them the answer.

Yesterday, I was thinking it would be kind of fun to have a political "what if" machine, and after spending some time in my workshop, here’s the results:

• What if Fred Thompson had brought in Scooter Libby as a campaign consultant this week?

The obvious parallel is the Clinton campaign bringing Sandy Berger on board. Headlines would scream of the sorry state of the Republican Party, and the nerve that the evil conservatives must have. How could any political campaign hire a convicted criminal? As it turns out, the Clinton campaign provided us with their own version of a “what if” machine by bringing aboard Sandy Berger.

You remember Sandy Berger. He was caught walking out of the National Archives with copies of classified documents. What? Classified documents? Why would poor, dear Sandy do that? It was for a typical Clinton tactic, a cover up. According to Clinton era Terrorism Czar Richard Clark’s lawyer, the documents were a “tough review” of the Clinton administration’s shortcomings in dealing with terrorism. Liberals correctly point out that he only stole copies of the relevant documents.  As if that wasn’t strange enough, it gets better. According to investigators, Berger also put classified documents into his pants and socks before taking them out of the National Archives in Washington. He even hid some documents under a construction trailer so he could check the windows of the National Archives and Justice Department buildings in order to make sure he was not being watched.  He later cut the documents up with scissors. The best part? Berger claimed he made an “honest mistake” by “inadvertently” taking the documents. Inadvertently hiding the documents under the trailer, or in his pants? On that day, Berger lied, and part of history died.

Again, I hear the liberals screaming “They were only copies”. The correct response is “Were the copies the only documents Berger stole?  According to an AP report, the House Government Reform Committee later revealed that an unsupervised Berger had been given access to classified files of original, uncopied, uninventoried documents on terrorism. Archives officials acknowledged that Berger could have stolen any number of items and they “would never know what, if any, original documents were missing.”

We didn’t hear much from Media Matters or Moveon.org on that the drawbacks of hiring a convicted criminal, but then again, it was a Clinton, so she gets a pass. If it had been Fred and Scooter, Moveon would be taking out newspaper ads in all Major Markets and the network talking heads would be babbling on for days. The major media outlets would do everything they could to destroy Sen. Thompson’s campaign.

• What if Mike Huckabee had said 'I am confident that we can create a Kingdom right here on Earth”?

The “What If” machine actually blew up on this one. It couldn’t reconcile the outrageous amounts of venom and hypocrisy from the left. Obama actually did speak of the Kingdom, and it is here that we start our analysis. When I read Sen. Obama’s statement, I thought “Good, now the left can stand their ground against one of their own”. Of course they didn’t. Instead of getting a litany of complaints about a politician invoking God, we got the DNC spin on the quote. Sen. Obama was taking God back from conservatives. That talking point made me think. Where did we put Him? Have we somehow hidden Him? Am I guilty of being selfish with Him?

For the record, if I had kidnapped God, I would have shared Him with every liberal. Every conservative would love for the left to find God. In fact, I think we are all willing to share. I believe that it is only through his Grace that liberals will see that murdering the unborn is wrong. If liberals really did want to find God, they need only open their eyes and look for him. They will not find him through a hypocrite like Barrack Obama. Perhaps if he had found God before campaigning for president, his message would have meant something. I have just a quick note for Senator Obama. Senator, campaign whistle stops are not religious revivals, and even if they were, the person speaking should actually believe what they are saying…

Now, back to our what if scenario. I think if Gov. Huckabee had said this, it would still be a major firestorm. It would still be leading on the evening news. The coverage certainly wouldn’t go away in a day, like it did for Sen. Obama.

• What if Hillary Clinton becomes president?

Liberals love this one. They believe that it will bring a Clintonized version of Heaven on earth. Free world class health care for all! The war will end immediately! People will love us again? The stock market will sky rocket. Tina Fey can retire! The what if machine sees things a little differently.

The what if machine sees an economic meltdown, attached to budget deficits that have been hence forth unimaginable. The problem with a National Healthcare program is that when you make it available to everyone, everyone will take advantage of it. Consumers will ask “Why should I buy my own insurance? I am already paying for healthcare through the massive tax increases.”  To compound the situation, why should employers even continue to offer health care plans, if the government will pay for it anyway?  Plus it won’t work anyway. Mark my words- the liberals that fund this program will underfund it. They will have to just to get the legislation to pass. The scramble to find funding will cause the deficit to explode. It will also cause real wages to drop- your company will stop providing for part of health care. They are not going to give you that money, they will keep it. That will make your compensation plan shrink.

The what if machine also sees an earlier than prudent withdrawal from Iraq. Terrorist camps will proliferate, resulting in another devastating attack on American soil. People will pay for the mistakes that a second Clinton administration makes. I’m not sure what her policy on terrorism will be, but it will probably mirror her husbands. If you would like to read about, call Sandy Berger, maybe he can show you the documents.

The stock market? It will plummet as health care companies struggle, and the aforementioned acts of terrorism hit the economy.  We will not enjoy the record highs we have seen recently, under a second Clinton administration.

The what if machine sees only one upside. Tina Fey will retire to a Tibetan monastery, quietly tending to the garden, and wondering “What if?”